Why is it difficult to meet other singles?

This question baffles me all the time. Why is it hard to meet other singles? With all the people in the world and how we are surrounded by others on a daily basis, why is it hard for us now to approach someone and get to know them? Has Internet dating caused a feeling of face-to-face interaction more of the exception than the rule?

The main reason why I plunged into the singles industry by opening a singles connection company was because I knew of many of my friends who were gorgeous, vivacious singles. They had a lot to offer someone but they were not meeting other singles. I thought I would help people like my friends to make connecting with other people easy. However, once I got into the business, I was appalled at the fear singles have in connecting with other singles. In other words, it was not easy for them to come to my events or to put themselves out in the world as a single looking for someone to meet. Of course, for some people it was easy but for the most part, it was a challenge for many. Why is that?

I would love some feedback in this area. Do you feel that it is hard for you to meet other singles? Do you feel that maybe it is easy for you to meet people but you are just not sure where to go? Or maybe you are just so much into your own world that it is just not easy to get out and meet anybody, let alone singles.

What is your story? Are you getting out and meeting singles? Is it easy for you? If it is, why is it easy? If it is hard for you, why is it hard? What the heck is going on?

Don’t be alone during these times

I think everyone can agree, we are living some tough times.  Whether you are in distress or not, it is still a huge worry about how things are going to turn out.  If you find yourself obsessing about the future or about your life, the best thing to do is get out of the house. 

Being single, you may be alone more than most people.  When you are alone, your mind can run away with negative thoughts.  So the best thing to do is distract it by getting out of the house and doing something fun and positive.  Get around people.  Oh, it is best to pick positive people that can lift you up.  Do not pick a negative person to hang around with as you are just perpetuating your worrisome thinking. 

A few suggestions is to go to the library and read some of your favorite magazines, go get a coffee at Starbucks, call a favorite friend and go to the movies, go to your favorite bookstore.  If you like flowers, go to your favorite nursery.  If you like cars, go to a car show.  Go where you get energy and uplifted. 

The best thing you could do is volunteer and help others.  This is the best way to take the focus off of yourself and your problems.  Also, it puts your problems in perspective when you see others struggling with their problems.  Most times we awfulize our problems and really, they are not that bad.

So, bottom line is to stay positive as much as possible.  Shift your thinking and keep moving forward is the best thing to do and we’ll get through this together.

Single? Harder or easier?

Is being single harder or easier? I was talking about this with a friend of mine the other day. Of course each has its pros and cons but overall is it easier being single or not? I would have to say that the thought of becoming a couple or commited to another is a good feeling. We are excited about living our lives with another person. Even though being in a couple has its challenges, it is something we do strive for naturally as human beings want companionship. However, people who are coming out of being in a relationship is usually not looking forward to being single. Sometimes people do feel as though they want to be by themselves to process what happened through a divorce. However, for the most part, I believe people don’t look forward to being alone again and cooking for one.

Also, usually when someone comes out of a relationship, all their friends are usually married. Also, the couples may feel an allegiance to one of them so you may lose some friends. Which means someone may need to find new friends.

So I would have to say that it is easier being in a couple and having automatic support and help through life.

What do you think? Is it easier for you to be single? Are do you miss being in a relationship because you are having a hard time being single?

Whew!! 2008 is over!! What’s next?

Ok, I don’t know about you but I was so elated at midnight on New Year’s Eve, mostly for the reason that now 2008 is OVER!!  I am ready to look in the windshield and not in the rearview mirror.  I am getting rid of things I didn’t want to bring into 2009 and I am cultivating things that make me feel good into 2009.  I want to learn from my past but I’m so ready to focus on the future and look at how I can make my life even better. 

I am bringing in a different attitude this year.  I am looking at how I can look at things with hope and optimism and I am  cultivating the things that make me happy.  By the way, life is all attitude and perspective.  How we look at things is how we live our lives.  Henry Ford said something like  ”If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”  And this is so true.  People do amazing things every day and if you are holding yourself back by thinking you can’t do something, then you are holding yourself back from an experience that could change your life. 

So here are a few questions to ask yourself. 
1.  What is it that you can do today that would make you feel good inside?
Examples, clearing an area in your house to make room for a hobby you want to start, writing an article that you want to submit to a magazine, start walking, call an old friend you haven’t heard from in years. 
2.  If there was one thing you would like to change about your life, what would it be?  Make is simple, don’t get complicated!!!
3.  What is one thing you could do today that would start moving you to do this one thing that could change your life?  Sometimes there is power just in beginning something and then you never know where it will take you.
4.  What is one word or phrase you could say that would shift you out of the feeling of sadness or fear?  Examples: “Let it be”, “I’m doing the best I know how”, ”I have faith this will work out for the best”, “It is all good”, “All is well”, ”This or something better for the highest good of all concerned”.  Or the best thing you could do is just take a deep breath.  The trick is to shift yourself out of negative thoughts as soon as possible into better feeling thoughts.  Remember, if you are going to make up how you want the future, it is better to have a more positive future fantasy than a negative one. 

So I encourage each of you to move into happiness and things that are good in your life.   Let go of the things that hold you back or that does not make you feel good about yourself.  This is a year of change for the good but it doesn’t happen without action.  Good luck and much abundance to you!!!