Singles New Year’s Resolutions

Yep, it’s that time of year again. We will recommit to the things we would like to see change in our lives, may it be a new, healthy relationship, losing weight, stop smoking or make more money. However, change usually doesn’t happen until the pain gets bad enough. In other words, if we are really not pressured to change, it won’t happen. We will stay in our old ways. However, to see our lives differently, it takes patience, consistency, and determination. To change, it takes a constant focus on our actions and thought processes to see what we can do and think differently. Most people don’t take the effort to change these two things.

Furthermore, if it is a major change in your life, it usually doesn’t happen overnight. It takes sometimes months if not years to see results. And most people don’t want to put the effort into something like this for that long period of time.  We are a quick fix-it society and this attitude does not help with the major changes we want to make in our lives.

So, if you are ready to change and to bring in something really great into your life, decide to incorporate determination, effort and patience. And don’t give it a timeline. Change happens when its ready. But keep moving towards the goal and then reevaluate from time to time if you are not getting any results.

Also, be specific as to what you want and keep it simple. Don’t be too elaborate.

Good luck with your new change in your life and remember, keep on moving forward with small steps. Remember the turtle won the race over the rabbit.

Christmas Spirit, where are you?

Christmas Spirit?  Where are you?  And I don’t mean this as a religious statement, more of a question about how to get that excited feeling back that we had as kids.  How can we look at Christmas (or any holiday for that matter) as a time to be happy and alive.  Ah, but as we know, Christmas is for kids.  It is a reminder of the story of Christmas and Santa.  It is a time of giving and being with family. 

However, if you are single, and you don’t have kids who you can share Christmas with, it can be a lonely time of year.  For me, Christmas is a reminder of a loss of a loved one, a disfragmented family, a lot of expense and time.  I tend to dwell on the inconvenience of Christmas and forget the meaning of it. 

So for me, I have a story I tell myself about Christmas and it is time to change that story.  It is time to reflect on the good things happening, remember the great people in my life and share good times with people I care about. 

I have a friend that LOVES Christmas.  She’s in her fifties and she loves the color, the lights, the gift giving and the fun of Christmas.  She is the only person I know that absolutely loves this time of year with a passion.  She doesn’t have any kids so I wonder where she can drum up such excitement about the holiday?  Because she tells herself a different story about Christmas.  Her story is much different than mine.  Hummm.  I want to get excited like she does about Christmas, or anything in my life for that matter. 

I think it is time to change my story!!!

Date can be a “four-letter word”

Who likes to date?  Mostly it is not any fun.  It can be an energy sucker, a time waster and an emotional rollercoaster.  Trust me, I remember when I was dating and it was a lot of work.  But unfortunately, mostly, it is a necessary evil in order to place yourself where you might meet the love of your life. 

However, it is possible to change how you look at dating.  Yes, dating could be a “four-letter word”.  But we could change the “four-letter word” to a “three-letter word”, FUN.  We take life too seriously and it is possible to go out in the world with the right attitude and enjoy what you do.  If you are planning on going to a singles event, you could go into it with the thoughts of “I’m nervous, I’m afraid I’m going to be judged.”  Or, “I’m too tired, I’ve worked all day so I think I’m going to skip it and stay home and rest instead.”  How many times do we go through the idea of “I’m going, I’m not going, I’m going, I’m not going, I’m going, I’m not going.”  On and on. 

Or, you could think of it like this, “I’m going to just meet some people, who knows who I might meet?”  Or, “I’m just meeting other humans on the planet and I’m sure they have some stories to tell.”  Life is all about how we put a spin on it.  It is the stories we tell ourselves.  And sometimes we get ssoooo attached to the wrong stories that do not sure us.  So change your story into one of being positive.  If you are going to make up the future for yourself, why not make it a positive future fantasy? 

So what’s the story for you?  I’m going to work on staying on the positive side, myself.