The Singles Cycle

You may be wondering when the singles industry starts getting revved up and when does it slow down.  Having been in the industry for over 5 years now, I have been watching these trends and find it very interesting. 

When is the most activity when it comes to singles coming out to date?  November is the best month.  It is right before the holidays and people don’t want to be alone.  The winter and the spring are the busiest times for singles companies as the holidays are here, the new year’s resolutions come around and then there is Valentine’s Day where singles find themselves again home alone with a good movie and popcorn.  Spring there isn’t much going on so it is a good time to go out and do something.   

Summertime is the slowest for singles companies as singles are preoccupied with vacations and their kids being home from school.  It almost virtually dies in the summertime.  However, come November and all the way through April, things start to get cranking.

So if you are single, I would start attending singles events in November or put a profile on the Internet.  We are coming up on our busiest times so go out and remember the cardinal rule.  Have fun!!!!  Leave your serious side at home.

Change your stories in your head

Life can be difficult.  Or, life can be great.  It all depends on the stories in your head.  We can tell ourselves how bad things are and how life is not treating you right.  Lord knows, I have felt like I’ve been punched in the stomach from life a thousand times and I could really have a great story to tell.  But I don’t want to get caught up in my story because it doesn’t make me feel good when I spin it through my head over and over. 

I have been working on spinning a better story in my head about things.  I have an affirmation on my desk that I read every day, I think it was from Ester Hicks.  This is the affirmation:  “I look for more reasons to appreciate.  The more I appreciate, the better I feel.  The better I feel, the more I am allowing who I am to flow through me.  The more I allow who I am to flow through me, the better I feel”.  So when I start in on a negative story in my head, I will ask myself, “How can I turn this around and appreciate it.”  It’s just a conscious way to stay positive.  A teacher I had always said, “why not create a positive future fantasy instead of a negative one”.  Hum, I think that is a great idea. 

Have a great fall. 

Beth

No kids? Get a pet!!!

I have two dogs.  I have always had a pet in my life.  It has been a Godsend in hard times and good times too.  My pets have always been there for me when I come home.  It is great to come home to a beating heart.  Someone or something to take care of.  Something that relies on you to take care of them.  It adds a little more purpose in your life.  This is more for the single person who doesn’t have kids. 

If you have kids, your life will be really full, being a single parent and all.  Your time is very much taken by maintaining the household, bringing home the bacon and taking care of the kids.  But if you don’t have kids or if your kids are grown and out of the house, I encourage you to get a pet.  They add so much to your life.

What’s better? Being alone or being in a relationship?

As I have been single for 45 years and now I’m in a relationship, I’ve been thinking a lot about which is better, being single or being in a relationship?  When you are single there are definitely pros and cons.  You can do what you want when you want.  You make all the decisions, you don’t have to ask anyone about what you want to do.  You can spend your money the way you like.  But for many, when you are single, there is a yearning to be in a relationship.  Not everyone feels this way but most people do. 

So now that I’m in a relationship, I feel there are more perks than when you are single.  One is that you get that human touch on a regular basis.  It feels good to get a massage or just have someone hold your hand.  You also have someone in your life to nurture.  Someone to do things for regularly, someone who you can help out on a daily basis.  For instance, I went to the grocery store and started thinking about what he might like or what I could make for the both of us.  Shopping for one is much different than shopping for two.  Shopping for two is so much better.  Another thing that is good about being in a relationship is that the other person gives you checks and balances in your life that there are none when you are single.  For instance, managing money is probably one of the hardest things to do in a relationship.  Everyone has their stories around money.  Being in a relationship has you look at your money habits and the other person’s too.  I look at mine and see how I can change in order to help both of our money situation.  He has his too.  We can look at both of our habits through the other person and see how we can make things better for both of us.  In other words, we can question each other on our money issues and see how we can resolve them.  If you are single, there is no one but yourself to call you on your stuff around money(or any subject for that matter).   I could go on and on with examples that make life better being in a relationship. 

So for all you single people who have quit looking for a mate, if this post sparks something inside of something you want,  I encourage you to start looking.  I see many singles want a relationship but don’t do anything about it.  They don’t go out, they do things with the same friends or just pick the wrong places to meet people.  If you are not successful in finding someone to hang out with, change your course.  Do something different.  But remember the cardinal rule, go to places where singles go.