What’s up in 2010!?!

A friend of mine and I try to define in one word what we want the year to be. We had both been going through some tough times but we were seeing the end of the tunnel in 2009. So last year our word was transition or transformation. For myself, I started a new career, not only am I working on building Singlocity but I’m also a craps dealer on the side. This job has given me many things that a normal job wouldn’t give. It helped me work on my self esteem issues. You have to be tough as a craps dealer because experienced players can “take shots” at you or cheat on purpose. Also, you have to be able to take criticism and sometimes crass comments from your superiors. So I’ve become stronger and more self confident.

I also took a hard look at Singlocity and I contemplated how I can be of more service to singles on my website. I took a little sabbatical to really look at if I was helping or it was just a lot of “fluff”. It is hard to know on a website whether you are being of help or not because there is little if not any feedback. I don’t hear from people who come to my website to let me know what would be helpful or not. So if you want to email me with anything ideas, I would love any feedback. My email address is beth@singlocity.com. I am committed to growing the website even more in 2010 and I will be looking for more ideas and feedback.

So our words for 2010 we think will be “amazing”. I want to have the best year ever and I hope to bring all of you along for the ride.

Thank you for all your support in 2009 and let’s make 2010 the best year yet.

Growing old and being single

As a family, we are helping our dad trapse through the part of life that hits a person in the face without any warning, the natural stages of growing old.  My mother died almost 4 years ago which left my dad “single” again. Of course he doesn’t think of it in those terms, he may think of it as living or being alone.  It is harder to be alone when you get older.  It is nice to have someone around that can help you when growing old has taken you by storm and left you riding on a train that is out of your control. 

I think about growing old alone.  I now have a boyfriend and it is nice to know someone will be there in case I need help in my later years.  However, nothing is permanent and who knows what will happen to me if something drastic creeps up on my and leaves me alone again.  It helps to have children, knowing they can help when things get hard.  However, in our culture, the children try and take care of their parents the best they can without interrupting their lives too much.  I would have my dad live with us in a heartbeat if I had a house that could accommodate all of us.  But my dad I think wants some independence but also he wants to make sure his basic needs are taken care of.  He is now in assisted living and who knows if that will be permanent.  I hope someday he will be able to go home, be independent again and live contently. 

I wonder if the question crosses many older singles minds of who will take care of me ?  What about you?  Do you think about growing old alone?  Is it a worry or something that you wonder about?  Just wondering.

Single Perspective

I’ve been focused on noticing where my thoughts go when certain situations come up.  If it makes me agitated, I’ve been working on changing how I look at the situation and try and work myself out of being agitated, or angry or whatever.  I’ve started a philosophy in my life that I will only do things that make me feel good and that are fun.  Also, if there is some resistance, I will look at going a different direction.  I’ve also started to do things that are easy and to stay away from things that are hard or not flowing easily. 

Does this mean that I don’t do things that are challenging, things that help me grow?  No.  For example, I just went through a twelve week course on how to learn how to be a craps dealer.  I was working at the same time.  So I was at the casino for 14 hours a day, getting home at 4:00am, sleeping for 6 hours(if I was lucky) and turn around and do it all over again.  It was a hard schedule and learning craps was hard too.  But when the opportunity arose for me to do this, the starting of it and now the finishing of the course and starting this new job as a craps dealer has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done for myself.  The whole experience flowed easily for me and now I’m having a great time being a craps dealer.  There was no resistance, it may have had its hard parts but the fun of it all carried me through the hardness of it. 

So I hope all of you work towards a better life and a feeling of well-being, accomplishment in your life and of course, fun!!!  Remember the famous quote, if you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!!

Single moms and dads and dating

I met someone who was a single dad with two great kids.  He loved his kids more than anything.  He told me he would not date anyone who didn’t have kids because someone without kids would not understand his devotion he would have to have to his kids first.  He felt the kids would come first and his mate second.  I told him not to limit his choices as there may be someone out there who may not be able to have kids but would be a great mom.  So what do you think?  If you have kids, would you date someone without kids too?  If you don’t have kids, would you date someone with kids?  This is a big issue for single people who are dating.

Where have I been?

Hello everyone,

I’m sorry for my absence.  I have been caught up in furthering my career and going to school for dealing craps.  I work in a casino and I’m a cashier now, so I’m working towards getting out of the cage and dealing craps.  Doesn’t sound like too noble of a career, helping people gamble, but it is a place for people to have fun, play games and get away from their lives and the world.  Also, I’ll be playing games for a living which is one thing I love to do.  My mom would always be asking us kids to play games with her, may it be backgammon, solitaire, hearts, spades, pinocle, you name it, we played it.  So I get to play games for a living and I hope to make a good living with it. 

So therefore, I’ve been so busy working and going to school that I’ve been neglecting my blog.  I am back at it now and I will continue my views on the single life.  I love it when people write back so I know that I’m on the right track or let me know if my views are out of whack.  So you will be hearing more from me and I hope to hear from you as well.

Have a great summer!!!!!!